A Guide to Teenage Survival

  1. Make yourself a cave. I’m serious. Build a fortress of solitude to wait out the hormonal phases you will be thrown into. It could be anything! Your room, a small hallway at school, a tree house in a dingy park. Just make sure it has Netflix and a popcorn machine and you’ll be fine!
  2. Develop deaf ears. It helps in dealing with all the haters! It should work in most cases. If not, just feed them to the first bear you can find.
  3. Driving is a very very important skill. When the struggle is real, you can just drive away from all your problems. It’s easier and faster than running away from your problems.
  4. Music is your one true friend. No matter what, a pair of head phones can fix anything. Use it like a shield. Turn up that bass and drown out the noise!
  5. Relationships are complicated! So stay away from any human contact. I told you your cave would be useful, didn’t I?
  6. Make a sign saying, “Go away” for when you run into mind numbingly stupid people. Yeah! You know the ones. It will happen a LOT! Now you won’t have to waste a single breath on them.
  7. When your parents ask you a question and it’s about you doing something you shouldn’t have, just tell the truth. Seriously! Chances are they already know. Parents get real crafty as you grow up!
  8. When you’re given advice, the right thing to do is to nod like a bobble head! If you’re planning actually paying attention and reacting to everything you hear, good luck dude. See you in the afterlife!

I hope that was useful πŸ˜€ if not, I hope you had a good laugh at the least! What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment. Thank you for reading!

– The Obsessive Writer

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27 thoughts on “A Guide to Teenage Survival

  1. Omg this is so well written. Followed πŸ™‚ I also am a teen who aspires to spread awareness of neurological diseases through the love of FOOD in Singapore, Nigeria and other parts of the world. Do join me in my quest ahahaπŸ™‚ Do also follow my blog post and check out my posts at https://autismyouths.wordpress.com Here’s to a great friendship. Appreciate it ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

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