Note To Self

There is a little bit of impending sadness in every bit of happiness you feel. It’s an ominous thought, I know. Today, you’re smiling. You’re laughing. You’re on top of the world, holding hands with the ones you love. You feel like nothing can bring you down. Oh, but it will. It will crash and burn. It’s the circle of life.

How can you ever know if you’ve truly loved, unless you loved it enough to let it break you? It can be so scary to feel happy again. Every high will feel like it’s only the path to another low. What if instead of focusing on the pain, you thought of the good times instead? Maybe it’ll hurt more. Memories have a way of stinging you when you least expect it. Or maybe, you’ll see it was all worth it. When you realize that, that day in the sun was well worth this darkness, you’ll teach yourself to feel happy again.

I think it takes some courage to be this ignorant. To dance with the devil knowing full well, he’s about to stab you in the heart and steal your soul. I’ve seen the highs and lows to the extent a twenty something year old can experience. They say teenage is the worst part, but I think the real shit is yet to come. As bad as it can be, it can be great too. I’m ready to hit reset and refresh as many times as it takes. Falling is scary, oh but what if I fly?

– The Obsessive Writer

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