A Search for the Right Way

Is there such a thing?

I’ve always been taught by life and it’s experiences that nothing is ever black or white. Our moral compass if often dunked in shades of grey and we’re left stranded with no sense of direction. I did not think there was a rule book. But lately, it feels like there are indeed some strong indicators that guide us unintentionally.

Whenever I am faced with a difficult choice, there are often two options. One that feels like it might suck immensely, and an easier one. I hate confrontation, or any sorts of negativity so I’ve always ended up picking the easier thing to do. Like not leaving my hometown for college, not ending a bad friendship, just not taking risks.

Maybe the right way doesn’t feel so right? Maybe its when you’ve got that pit in your stomach you’re doing what you’re supposed to. I have reached this point in my life where I feel like nothing can go wrong. Every high or low is just the path I was meant to take to my rightful destination. The only way I’m going to end up where I am supposed to is by doing things the right way no matter the consequences and irrespective of how hard they are.

Seeing as I’ve only got this one life, I might as well get it right.

– The Obsessive Writer

Obsessed 

To all the writers out there:

It’s not real unless it’s obsessive.

We all dream. But, you don’t deserve it unless every minute of your life is somehow a journey towards it.

We all love. But you don’t belong together unless you share a passion that drives you insane.

You can write pretty words, think easy thoughts. It might even please the crowd. But you’re not really writing unless every word you write is a window to your soul. The truth is ugly. It doesn’t rhyme. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense. But the moment you stop caring what others think, you will discover yourself. Maybe they’ll like it, maybe they won’t. At least, it will be real.

So darling, stay obsessed. Make every choice like there’s no consequence. Live every fucking moment like you’re about to breathe your last breath.

– The Obsessive Writer

Love Yourself

So many people rant about self-love, and I don’t know about you, but I often wonder things like, “They’re just saying that because they have someone” you know? I’m skeptical to people who have millions of loving people in their lives who talk about self-love being the only love that “matters”. And then there are those perfect, flat stomached, curvy girls who say looks don’t matter so don’t hate your body. Love it for what it is.

We all are in this journey in life to find someone to complete us. Some of think we already found them, some of us never stop looking and some of us hate our lives because we don’t have that someone. What is this someone for, you ask? It is to help bury all those insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I skinny enough? Am I funny enough? Am I lovable? Am I fun to be around? We want someone who’s going to answer all those questions in a positive way for the rest of our lives to feed our growing insecurities.

What if you’ve already got that person and you’ve no idea? What if I told you I know who completes you?

It’s you.

Yes, I’m starting to sound like those people who talk about self-love too, aren’t I? Well times have changed and I’ve had some growing up to do. It’s not just one or two but almost everyone who loves themselves seems to have a lot of people who love them. Everyone who feels confident about how they look is often perceived as beautiful and gorgeous. Are you seeing the common denominator here?

Be that person who sits on the bed with yourself and hold your own hand and stop those tears. Learn to cheer yourself up. You were born as a whole and you don’t need someone to complete you. Once you’ve reached that stage where you love yourself whether you lose that 10 kilos or not, those petty things won’t matter. And when you’re around people you’ll start thinking about how they make you feel rather than panicking about whether they like you or not. That’s the day you’ll find love, and friends and people who accept you for who you are. And that’s the day you’ll feel beautiful inside out.

– The Obsessive Writer

Day and Night

A raging ball of fire slowly slips into the shadows. The darkness embraces the light, and gives birth to the night. The gold turns to silver, all the noises now merely a quiver.

I hear nothing.

I see no-one.

I am relieved.

Little by little the dark fades into lighter shades, the moon leaves to light the sun ablaze. The world comes to life and with it, it’s strife.

I hear lies.

I see liars.

I am betrayed.

© Abirami.

Sleepy Hollows

To be stopped and once again revived, the mind is not as patient as the heart. Hope is more comforting than intelligence when struck by a poison dart. During the wait to be brought back to life there are a few things that just make you wonder.. Is each minute a funeral march to the grave or a brave stride towards a rightful destiny? I should hate to lose myself in the fulfillment of an untold prophecy. Regardless, I lie here, awaiting my calling. A century long slumber, in a haze between flying and falling.

© Abirami

The Girl in Love

You wield your cold, steely eyes like a deadly weapon.

Each stare is a merciless stab to the heart.

As I bleed out from the gaping wound,

Nobody comes to rescue the girl in love.

Every touch sends chills down my spine,

You suffocate me with your smouldering smile,

As I pant out of breath,

Nobody comes to rescue the girl in love.

You are my ocean of endless trust,

In you I drown, with complete submission.

As I enslave my heart to you,

Nobody comes to rescue the girl in love.

© Abirami

Anger Management

I don’t understand how a certain group of people are categorised as impulsive. How are only some people that way? Is it not human to feel an impulse? If it were up to me there would only be two categories. People who are alive, and those who are dead.

But I’ve been told recently that I couldn’t always say or do what I liked. And that being “impulsive” is not the right way to deal with things. That right course of action is apparently to carefully think about it and agonise over it until you’re too numb to want to do something about how you’re feeling.

Like if you’re at work and a co-worker undermines you, or you’re at school and someone takes credit for your work or belittles you. Would you just walk away? That is the society we live in. There’s so much importance to conforming to social norms and “decency”, that the line between right and wrong is so blurry these days.

If you’re able to bottle up your feelings when someone stabs you in the back, or outright insults you, then good for you. I cannot live a lie like that. And I won’t. To hell with your opinions. I will remain impulsive for as long as I have a pulse.

– The Obsessive Writer