Words are all I had and he took them from me. It drove me insane, not knowing what to say; to just stare in awe and adoration. All of a sudden there was something I loved more than myself.
I remember it all. How he looked into my eyes, like we were the only people in the world; the sound of his voice…his laugh. It’s the kinda laugh that reminds you of the good things in life. He didn’t just give my heart wings, he made me want to fly. Flying is not so scary when I know I’ve got him to catch me when I fall.
Go back to your childhood for a moment.
Are you there yet? Okay.
Think of that one thing you’ve always wanted.
Do you have it now?
Did it change your life the way you expected it to?
All that I have ever wanted is freedom. To become an independent adult, make my own choices and be my own person. I have been over protected all my life and I thought that being a legal adult meant that I would no longer be controlled by anyone or anything. (I know. I’m an idiot.)
This January of 2016 I did turn 18. Huraaaaaah! I can drive. I can vote! what not? The world is my oyster. It was really surreal for the first couple of days. And then, slowly, the excitement died and I saw the unfiltered version of this big “change”. It was everything I did not expect it to be.
You know how when you want something real bad? It seems like the greatest thing in the world. An unsurmountable peak. And then when you finally get it, it’s no big deal anymore. Well, that’s exactly what happened with me. That and some more.
It took a while, but then it hit me. I am an adult. I have responsibilities. I don’t even know the electoral candidates’ last names and I’m supposed to vote. I don’t even have my own bank account, or a job that pays but I swindle money like it grows on trees. All I wanted was passion in my professional life and here I am hating every bit of college.
It’s ironic that I spent all of my life waiting for this part of my life, and now that it’s here, I have no idea how to handle it.
Maybe being this lost will urge me to find my way.
The Obsessive Writer.
Our goals, and choices ultimately define who we are. To me, goals are constantly changing. But all of our goals, well my goals, have one common factor: contribution. In the end, we’re all just trying to find our place in this world to try and make a difference.
There were a lot of things that led me to pick engineering and yes, passion was definitely one of them. For some reason we all believe that the reputation of the school we go to says a great deal about how talented we are once we graduate. I strongly believed that, when I spent a great deal of time working for my exams.
As a result of all that turmoil, I am currently a student of Computer science Engineering at PSG college of Technology, Coimbatore. Though this name may have some effect on a local or at the most an Indian, it’s just a name to anyone else.
My first year at college is about to come to an end and what I have come to understand is that, no matter where you go, you’re still going to experience college. If you’re a girl you’re going to experience a lot of drama, maybe some friendship and definitely a lot of fun. I’m honestly grateful to have all this in my life. This has been more educational than anything I’ve done so far.
It’s been a while since I had a one on one conversation with my faithful readers, so this post has been long over due. You guys are amazing people! I keep coming back to indulge myself in writing because of how responsive you are. Thank you for that. 🙂
– The Obsessive Writer.
The times have changed.
I know, that’s an over-rated thing to say: especially for me. In the last few months, I’ve been going on and on about how growing up has been all about tough choices, studying to get into college and facing the “world” whatever the hell that is, I’ve taken too long to notice that in a while I’m not going to be in school anymore…
No more skank walks down the hall way with my so called “possy”, no more pranks on innocent bystanders, no more laughing for the dumbest jokes in class, no more having sarcastic things to say about everything and everyone, no more of these amazing people I’ve spent six years of my life with.. And that is going to suck. I know, like they all say, “we’ll stay in touch” but you know that’s not the same. I’ll not be rolling with this crowd anymore and that’s got me feeling nostalgic.
I don’t recollect ever making a huge deal about knowing them. It didn’t even matter. We were all just together for some reason whatsoever. I realize now, how much they truly mattered. How they’re the reason I am who I am. This place, it’s home. And that is where I know my heart will always be.
I feel like this is my practise good bye speech. Man, thinking of the goodbyes is sort of making my heart ache, quite literally. I’ve never liked goodbyes. But, something tells me these guys can come up with some sort of a interesting twist to just about anything. Oh well, here’s to another beautiful day of high-school or what’s left of it! 😀