Every night, we meet in a recurring dream.
Making new promises, to redeem.
Your eyes locked on mine,
Our fingers entwine;
Two hearts beat as one,
All the masks are undone.
I couldn’t walk, but with you I fly.
Amongst the stars setting fire to the sky.
A life on clouds made of what could have beens, where obvious thoughts always seem out of reach but conjuring up new worlds is as easy as breathing. A passion fully driven by the fear of censure and miniscule hopes of recognition. What was reality yesterday fades out of memory today and comes uncalled tomorrow. Determination that turns into procrastination after sudden fits of inadvertency as the goal is never permanent. A convenient oscillation between accomplishment and pleasure which once started out as the same thing. It is a life of delusional captivity.. a delusion that seems real enough to believe in, letting loose the grasp of reality.
“What if she says no?” he thought, as he stood on one knee in front of the girl of his dreams.
It was going to be a simple answer.
Yes or no.
But, he seriously doubted his ability to process any piece of information as of then. At intense moments, the thin line between flying and falling gets blurry. The fear of the latter always trumps the prospects of hope for the former.
She always spoke about love being the only thing that transcended space and time. He laid down his faith on that very love and hoped it was enough. They’ve been in love for as long as he remembered. What are these silly doubts then? He always trusted her. Why not now? Even though none of it made any sense, he still couldn’t shake the fear. He wondered how silly he must look. A grown man trembling with fear. Perhaps she’ll take me for a coward. After what felt like ages she finally looked like she was about to say something.. that was when the trembling got worse.
It took him long enough to realize he wasn’t really trembling. He was being woken up.
“Up sleepy head! You promised me some brunch, remember?”
Seven years of marriage and he still couldn’t believe she’d said yes.
My warmth in a rainy day,
All the happiness that’s here to stay.
The fire in my heart,
The greatest memories that never part.
Faith at times of worry,
Forever, my strong and steady.
You’re every fleeting thought.
You’re every little day dream.
And if I get lazy, I’ll simply tell you,
You’re everything to me.
A thought, that’s all it was.
Away it hid as soon as it came alive.
Every now and then you could see it, a frail silhouette in the dark.
Stealing glances out into an unknown spark.
Sometimes asking me, begging you, for a few words;
Words to set it free.
Words to wear so from the heart it can flee.
Making it out through the lips and into the wind with glee.
A mere feeling, that’s all it was.
Like the warmth of the sun or the chill of the rain.
An unspoken emotion, neither joy nor pain.
Simply reminding me, I exist;
Voyaging through new, lonely paths with moments of sunshine and mist.
Some days I don’t want to write. I don’t want to talk or be around anyone at all. There’s literally no particular thing I want to do, nothing but just be. An aimless life.. Ah.. It seems like “the dream”. Oh no, don’t you mistake this for depression! This is a beautiful feeling. It is one of those times when the mind is so easy to please. Maybe I’m not ecstatic but there’s no room for sadness either and that seems good enough. Some times there’s a little craving for music, other times not. Staring at the street from my window and observing the world is heartening in itself. Well, right now is one of those times for me.
If a day could begin without goals being set,
If it was all consequential: what you did and who you met,
If desire could be the cause behind every action
And there was no necessity for procrastination,
If you could care without cause
And love just because,
Oh if life were aimless . . .