My New Year’s Day (2018)

There’s nothing new about the new year. It happens over and over, at the beginning of every year. I know it’s not the greatest idea to start off a post on such a negative note. But my new year had a similar start to it as well so it only seems fitting. What do you expect from someone from an exotic subcontinent like India? Grand cultural celebrations? Amazing food? I’m sure this was all part of someone’s new year’s day. Just not mine. I am 19 years old and not for long. All my friends were out partying and I was stuck at home playing video games. It felt like a very foul beginning to my last new year’s day as a teenager. I had never been that sick of my life. Here in India, they protect their daughters to this annoying level. So if you’re wondering why I wasn’t out partying, the answer is, I wasn’t allowed to.

The reason that this night-in felt like such a downer was because things used to be a lot better. I used to feel a lot better about myself. Last year, I drove around town with my dad during the new year’s countdown, and we were joined by the entire city. Everyone was on bikes or in cars cruising around, screaming at the top of their lungs. About a hundred or so strangers wished me a Happy New Year! No one cared about cast or creed. It was just about being happy and spreading joy to anyone who came your way. It was a magical night.

I decided to keep at least some of festival spirit alive this year. I stayed up till 12:00 AM and then I instantly went to bed. The sound of fireworks and people celebrating on the streets did not help my aching heart. I slept in till the afternoon because I had nothing better to do. I love playing video games. Don’t get me wrong here. I just wanted to be doing something a little more outdoors that day. When I was down in the dumps, my friend reminded me that life isn’t just about the downs. And that once we grew up and had our lives to ourselves we’d be able to do anything we wanted. That speech didn’t really make anything better. But it did make me want to try.

I went to visit my sister who’d just had a baby. My very own little niece. She is like the ray of sunshine in my otherwise tragically boring life. So I figured that visiting her might turn things around. It might sound like I’m being so dramatic about this whole crappy new year thing, but you’d only get it if you were a teenager too. Sometimes we feel like life isn’t fair for no reason at all. I blame it all on the hormonal mood swings. Being around my sister and brother was a great distraction. Getting to be around the baby was an ever better distraction. Honestly, after I stepped into the room with her crib. It didn’t matter what day of the year it was and whether or not my life was cool.

She was just asleep and I sat there looking at her feeling like life was perfect all of a sudden. That’s when it hit me. Maybe I am just a boring old teenager with no life in this messed up country that gives teenage girls no freedom whatsoever, but here family is everything. No matter how much they can suffocate you, they’re all you need. I don’t think I’d have this bond with so many people if I was from anywhere else. I don’t think just holding a baby and realising she’s your flesh and blood can mean so much if you’re from anywhere else. Maybe I don’t hate my life so much after all. Or maybe I just really like babies.

This pointless story has a happy ending too. While I was lost in her little eyes, the corner of her lips seemed to curve up a little. I was just blabbing random things to her because she liked being talked to. It must have looked crazy. A grown woman talking to a new born like she could actually make sense of it. I don’t even remember what I said. Who knows, I might have been whining about my life to her as well. But whining using my baby voice of course! And suddenly she just smiled at me. It was her first smile and she decided to let me be at the receiving end of it. I know what you’re thinking. Babies that young can’t even see. She must have just seen a funny shaped blob and smiled at nothing. But I choose to believe that it was at me. I got all excited and called everyone over to show what just happened. I felt so warm. The warmth trickled from my stomach, down to my pants. Oh, what was that? The baby was peeing on me. I was suddenly thrust into a fountain of never ending pee. Thankfully it didn’t stink. That’s my niece, ladies and gentlemen!

So this new year, I got peed on. I guess I finally got that craziness I was looking for.

⁃ The Obsessive Writer


Thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed this post! Share your New Year’s Day story with me in the comments below! 🙂 And a belated happy new year to all of you! It’s never too late. 😀

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Online – Episode #1

What do you use the internet for?

Starting from homework to passing time, we’re all a little too dependent when it comes to the World Wide Web. It has a different meaning in all our lives, at different stages. The vast majority mainly use it to learn or to entertain themselves. To some, it’s how they make their living like youtubers, bloggers and so many social media influencers. And then there are those who make it their life.

Logged on as – agirlwhodreams

January 20th, 2015 – It’s My Birthday

I LOVE MY LAPTOP SO MUCH!!!!! I LOVE MY DAD SO MUCH!!!!! Okay, everyone’s here for my party – xoxo.

2 – Responses

gamer8055 : Happy birthday!

edmforlife : It ain’t a partaay without some coke. Hit me up if you’re up for some real fun. 😉

January 25th, 2015 – Homework Sucks. School sucks. Life sucks.

Dear Diary teenagers on this subreddit,

I had a shit day at school. I have so much homework. Who cares why Phenanthrene is more stable than Benzene & Anthracene? My Chemistry teacher needs to get laid.

10 – Responses

gamer8055 : Lol

February 27th, 2015 – How does one get rid of a Parent?

My parents do not understand the concept of personal space. So I was talking to Jake in the parking. Yes. HE ACTUALLY SPOKE TO ME. But there’s too much going on for me to get excited about that. There I was explaining to him what we had to do for our mid-term paper, nervous as hell of saying something stupid to the cutest boy in school, and Mom pops out of nowhere. Why can’t she just wait in the car like all the other parents? She was all, “So yooooou’re the Jake, Melissa won’t stop talking about” I just shoved my head into my bag and stomped my way to the car.

50 – Responses

gamer8055 : Is he that cute?

austinXtyler : You should consider hypnosis. I’m taking a course online to deal with my parents.

demilover : I feel you!

March 15th, 2015 – I’m officially the luckiest girl on the planet. 

He asked me out! I’m not naming names or places. God help me if he ever read any of this. I’m officially dating!! *Does an embarrassing happy dance*

10 – Responses

delilahjones : *Joins in on the happy dancing*

thehipdad : Use protection.

March 24th, 2015 – Jimmy Choos or Louboutins?

Guys! My prom is in an hour. He’s on his way to pick me up and I’m freaking out! I need your help. Let’s have a quick poll please.

Choos – 35

Louboutins – 27

April 10th, 2015 – What do I get my boyfriend for his birthday?

How cute is it that our 1 month anniversary is the same day as his birthday? We are so meant to be.

13 – Responses

swiftie4life : Clothes? It will remind him of you every time he wears it.

Reply to swiftie4life : Thanks 🙂

thebroodedude : Condoms! 😀

Reply to thebroodedude – by gamer8055 : Get lost you perv.

April 15th, 2015 – I’m Dying.

I can’t get over his smile. I’m so happy, I’m dying. Today was amazing. I gave him a shirt. He said he loved it. That’s not all he said. He said.. He loved it, as much as he loves me. ME! I can’t believe he said it. I told him I loved him too. We talked a lot today. More than usual. I think I’ve crossed that phase of my life where I needed someone’s advice to know what I want. It’s simple. I want him. I’m going to focus on our relationship and school and all the amazing things in life I have going on, instead of wasting time on the internet. I feel like he’s the one. I know I’m only 16. I’ve dated like one boy so far and it’s him. Everyone’s gonna say I can’t possibly know if he’s the one, right now. And that’s fine. But I know what I feel. We’ll see what happens won’t we?  Waiting is easy. I’ll just get lost in his eyes in the mean time. – xoxo.

30 – Responses

swiftie4life : Told you the shirt would work! You’re welcome.

itsmehannah : Yay!! Mel and Jake 4eva ❤

Reply to itsmehannah : Hannah!! how did you find me? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Please don’t kill me for this.

December 10th, 2015 – Is my Boyfriend crazy?

I really need some advice. I feel so lost. My hands are literally shaking. I don’t even know if I can talk about this to anyone I know. We’ve been dating for almost year now. We’re only teenagers, yet we found ourselves talking about rings and how we’d spend our future together. We even applied to all the same colleges. I’ve been living a fairy tale until this happened.

So my classmate texted me asking if he could borrow my inflatable mattress for a camping trip and I told him it was fine. He came over to pick it up and we were in my room trying to bag up the mattress. My parents weren’t home and my boyfriend decided to surprise me with a visit at the same time and he just walked into my house to find us (me and my our classmate), in my bedroom.

He just lost it and started walking away. I tried to explain it to him, so i ran after him and got into his car. He wasn’t listening to reason at all. He was angry and saying things like he wanted to hit me and bash my skull in because that’s what I deserved. So I was about to just give up and get out of the car. Suddenly he just grabbed me and hugged me tight. Begging me not to leave. I still have bruises in both my arms from the way he held me.

After that a few days have passed and he’s apologised many times. He said he didn’t mean any of it and that he was just mad. I don’t know what to do. I still love him but I’m scared.

To be continued… 

© Abirami

Online – Episode #5

All good things must come to an end. Whether we like it or not, that’s just the way life is. Teenage can feel like the hardest of times. The heightened emotions can really get you in ways you’ve never imagined. They say things get easier if you keep trying. Whoever said that was not talking about being a teenager. There’s no beating it. There is only surviving it.

Survival is more fun with some team work. We all need an A-Team, you know? It could even just be you and another person. Size doesn’t matter. It’s the bond. It’s how well you fit into each other’s storms.

Logged on as – agirlwhodreams

April 4th, 2016 – Trying Times.

The crap has officially hit the fan in my so called excuse for a life. Evilla is out to get me. I am literally failing in class. I think I’m about to lose the only two friends I have because I happen to be a b*tch. And to top it all off, I have to host my cousin who’s visiting in my dorm. Thanks mom! This is exactly what I needed. ANOTHER thing to worry about. It’s cool.

So what’s the quickest and easiest way to get rid of a f*cking tourist?

300 – Responses

itsclareclaire : Things will get better girl. Relax.

itsmehannah : My poor baby.

Reply to itsmehannah by agirlwhodreams : I wish you were here. xoxo.

gamer8055 : Leave them in a deserted subway in the middle of the night. The city should take care of the getting rid of them part for you. You’re welcome. *Insert sinister emoji*

April 5th, 2016 – Why! Just why?

So I just picked up my cousin from the airport. She has an actual list. And the first thing she did was shove it in my face. I had to explain to her that I had something called a “life” and a sucky part of it involves school. After showing her how the subway worked, I came to class to work on those extra credit assignments. I’m dead if I don’t get these right. Getting a good partner assigned is literally crucial to pass. The only kinda people who even bother with these extra credit assignments are mega nerds and dumbass kids who don’t have enough credits to pass. I belonged to that second category right now. Guess who offered to help? Yes. Andrew. My genius best friend. Who might possibly like me. What do I do? I do not want to lead him on.

538 – Responses

Johannaxon : You can get his help without leading him on. Just saying.

Stefi900 : Oh boo hoo. A guy likes you. And he wants to help you. HOW FREAKIN SAD.

Reply to Stefi900 by gamer8055 : Chill dude. You better back off.

April 20th, 2016 – Things are not what they seem.

I’ve been an idiot. Maybe this is what I’ve always done wrong. Even with Jake. (My ex-boyfriend) Every time something’s wrong, I struggle to fix it. But at other times, when nothing is being pointed out to me, I just go on walking onto a burning building like it’s all good and then I complain about getting burnt. I’m not making much sense am I? Well, something happened yesterday that snapped back things into reality. During class the speakers buzzed and the Dean announced that one of my classmates’ father passed away from a heart attack. Let’s call her Salma. He was a healthy adult. Barely 50. Their family did not have much but she was a brilliant student. Salma was on a fully funded scholarship and everything. People often made fun of her, and some even hated her for how talented she was. Even I thought she was obsessed with school work to a toxic level.

After we heard what happened, the entire school went to her house to check up on her. And I saw this new side. She was broken. There was no psychotic drive in her eyes, just sorrow. She wasn’t thinking about the finals we had tomorrow. She wasn’t thinking about anything but her father. To anyone who would lend a ear she told story after story about how funny, thoughtful and amazing her father was. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her make this much social contact.

There are people out there with real problems. I need to grow up.

*Comments Disabled*

April 21st, 2016 – Life is not strange, we are.

We had our finals today. I think I did okay. As expected, Salma didn’t show up. It’s such a shame because she had the brightest future amongst all the students here.

I was still in that same state of mind from yesterday. I decided to conquer my not so scary demons. And Evilla was the first one on the list.

I walked up to her with a resolve to set things straight. I handed her, her metaphorical crown and explained how I could NEVER take her place. And that the only reason someone dropped a note in my locker was to prank me. (Well I knew it was Andrew but she didn’t have to know that) What happened after that was unexpected. She actually smiled. Not a sarcastic, know-it-all, condescending smile but a genuine one. I never thought Evilla would want to call truce so easily.

Next on the list was Andrew. I had a speech rehearsed. It was decisive but soft. I planned to let him down easy. I knew he was by the lockers emptying his stuff out. When I turned the corner into the corridor with the lockers, I saw Jessica and Andrew KISSING. Yes. Turns out he liked her not me. Guess those notes were a prank by some jobless fool after all.

46899 – Responses.

Madazzahatter : Predictable as fuck.

Savvyfudge : I’m glad you finally figured things out. Most girls live their whole damn lives thinking the whole world revolves around them.

gamer8055 : Who calls their own admirer a fool? *Sigh*

May 17th, 2016 – You will not believe this.

I cannot believe I’m one of those corny people who has to say “online” when someone asks how I met my boyfriend.

500035 – Responses

Itsmehannah : WHAT BOYFRIEND?

Jakejones : You’re dating someone new?

KateKlossi : Um? Care to elaborate?

gamer8055 : Leaving those notes made a cute addition to our story didn’t it, babe? C’mon. You’ve gotta give me credit for all that. 😉

Reply to gamer8055 by agirlwhodreams : Yeah yeah super cute. The part where you stalked me online for years before actually speaking to me is way cuter. 😛

The End.

Online – Web Series Announcement

Tonight at 10 PM IST I will be posting the final episode of my web series – online.

Please stay tuned and check it out 🙂

Drop a comment below if you have enjoyed it so far. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can check out the first four episodes by clicking here.

Thank you for all the support.

– The Obsessive Writer.

Travel Blog #1 – Dubai

To be even typing this, I am ecstatic. This is the feeling of finally living a life long dream. For 19 years I have dreamt, and waited patiently for my opportunity to trot around the globe. And it came in the most unexpected way : my mother’s midlife crisis. What else do you call it when your mother of 50 wakes up one day and starts travelling across the country(India)? I could not join her on most of those trips because of college. But for this one I somehow made time and things just fell into place for my first trip abroad.

We were unprepared and excited, and I’ve come to realise that it’s a great combination if you’re looking for some adventure.

We landed in UAE, Dubai. on the 13th of October. I was rudely woken up by the flight attendant at around 4 AM. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to wake up! The first hour went in just taking it all in. It was all smiles and sunshine till the hunger kicked in and our tour guide still hadn’t shown up to take us to our hotel. Then the stark realisation that we had no means of communication made things worse. We didn’t get a SIM card that would work in Dubai, and apparently talk time is pretty darn expensive there. But it really didn’t matter to me. I just wanted to be able to ask for some words of advice from my Dad at this terrible hour. But I never got to do that. I ended up eating at the airport. The double chocolate muffin sort of turned things around and I saw a little clearer.

We finally found our guide at around 8 after four hours of waiting. He unapologetically informed us that we couldn’t check in to our hotel until 2 PM. The tour company’s carefully thought out plan was to show the tourists around Dubai WITHOUT SHOWERING OR GETTING ANY SLEEP. What you’d probably know about me by now is that I am hot-headed and a control freak so things were not going very well for me with this whole lack of organisation. But the City made it all go away..

There were underwater bridges, and palm shaped Islands. I saw buildings that could almost touch the sky and white sandy beaches that stretched out into the beautiful coastline. And oddest of all, trees in the middle of a desert. I had never seen anything so surreal in my life. We drove around Sheikh’s palace and all the beautiful buildings on the Dubai Skyline. In those moments I was a child again, seeing the world for the very first time.

This trip had a lot of bumps. For instance, it wasn’t part of out tour package to visit the Burj Khalifa. (For those of you who don’t know it’s the tallest building in the world.) I was extremely dejected that we couldn’t get the tickets to go. It was the lack of communication that hit me hard at times like that. Then, we got lost often and we couldn’t easily find our way back because I didn’t have GPS without a SIM card. Let’s not even talk about the terrible service in the restaurant in the hotel we were staying in. I was pretty miserable. After the city tour, going to the mall was a big let down. There’s nothing adventurous about a bunch of outlet stores.

What I learned in time (thankfully) is that I could survive on my own if I tried. Even in a different country. Even without a cell phone. I ended up tracking down an agent and going to the Burj Khalifa the very next day. I honestly felt like someone who had just climbed Everest. It was exhilarating. Standing on top of the Burj, I felt as high as I was. It wasn’t just the view, it was also the pride in having found my own way there. It might seem silly to you but I’ve never really done anything on my own. I’ve been protected my whole life. This was my first taste of freedom. and I LOVED it.

The desert safari was another touristy thing that I enjoyed on the night of the second day. The thrilling drive was just the beginning. It was a night of meeting these new amazing people. Right from the Camel herder to, the Emirati (a local) who drove our jeep, none of them failed to amaze me. I never thought I could relate to a Camel herder on selfie skills. Seriously. And watching my first ever sunset in the desert was incredible! It was truly a night to remember.

When I woke up on the third day, little did I know that things would take such an unexpected turn. Did you know that Dubai is a hub for illegal first copies of branded goods? One morning, we were walking down a shopping street when a man suddenly approached us asking if we wanted brands for less. Having watched my share of the Sex in the City movies I nodded along. I did not think it would be that cool but it was!!! I won’t lie that it wasn’t scary. We stood in a dark alley with men talking in hushed tones carrying sacks from one room to another. For a minute there, it felt like the beginning of a bad horror movie. Then they took us to an apartment in the back with piles and piles of bags, watches and purses in Coach and Jimmy Choo! I’m pretty sure I even saw a few Rolex’s just like in the movie. I got a few things just to remind myself that I went where Carrie Bradshaw did! Pretty damn cool for my first overseas trip, I’d say. 😀 But I don’t think it’s as illegal as they made it seem in the movie because no one really cared that much about busting them.

We also got a glimpse of Abu Dhabi the capital of UAE the next day. It was much bigger than Dubai, and the people seemed richer. But it was quiet and residential. I prefer the aura of a busy City to suburbia. I got to wear a burka and everything to enter a sacred mosque which was extremely cool! 😀 The whole building was filled with an eery silence and it smelled sterile. I spent around 5 minutes at each pillar photographing the intricate carvings. I’ve never seen anything so beautifully crafted, and I don’t think I ever will. You’ve got to hand it to the Arabs for their craftsmanship.

After a tiring day of roaming around Abu Dhabi I eagerly awaited the cruise that had been planned for the night for some long over due relaxation. The Dhow cruise was indeed memorable but not in the way you’d expect. I went on board a leaky ship with dreams of getting a perfect view of the skyline with the lights and everything. Instead, the cruise was in an area with virtually NO buildings. Or anything except for the other sad boats that were floating around. The tour company had failed us once again. But it was almost the last day and our tour group was so exasperated that we ended up laughing so hard at our own plights. We were at this point where nothing more could go wrong. The on board entertainment wasn’t all that bad. A man wearing colourful skirts twirled around and around in circles until everyone but him felt dizzy, that was his talent of choice. I guess you can literally make money out of anything if you tried hard enough.

The last and final day, I decided to just do everything I possibly could and say good bye to the beautiful Dubai city. I got to see dolphins for the first time. I dearly missed my dog each time the dolphin did a trick and looked to its trainer with excitement, for approval. I’m pretty sure I teared up. But it was a good feeling. The first thing I did when I came home was hug my dog. It’s funny that it was my dog I missed the most during this trip.

When I thought I’d seen everything, I was in for a treat on my last evening there. I fell in love with their cuisine. It is what I miss the most right now. What I would give for a bite of Arabian Shawarma, or a taste of Pakistani biriyani. It was a shame that I only discovered my love for their food on the last day. Till that I never had time and ended up eating in the hotel we were staying in which had a pathetic excuse for a restaurant.

The flight back home was bittersweet. I was coming back home, where things felt more in control. But I knew that I’d miss that uncertainty and the excitement that came with getting lost in a foreign country. Getting lost is truly how you find yourself. If you’re reading this, you’ll probably wonder whether or not I’m happy about the trip. Well thats the thing. Everything in life comes packaged with the good and the bad. It can be a trip, or something else you’ve wanted for a long time. When you actually get it, I can guarantee that it won’t just be what you imagined. There will be ups and downs. When you’re open to the lessons life has planned, it’s hard not to have a good time.

– The Obsessive Writer.

Anger Management

I don’t understand how a certain group of people are categorised as impulsive. How are only some people that way? Is it not human to feel an impulse? If it were up to me there would only be two categories. People who are alive, and those who are dead.

But I’ve been told recently that I couldn’t always say or do what I liked. And that being “impulsive” is not the right way to deal with things. That right course of action is apparently to carefully think about it and agonise over it until you’re too numb to want to do something about how you’re feeling.

Like if you’re at work and a co-worker undermines you, or you’re at school and someone takes credit for your work or belittles you. Would you just walk away? That is the society we live in. There’s so much importance to conforming to social norms and “decency”, that the line between right and wrong is so blurry these days.

If you’re able to bottle up your feelings when someone stabs you in the back, or outright insults you, then good for you. I cannot live a lie like that. And I won’t. To hell with your opinions. I will remain impulsive for as long as I have a pulse.

– The Obsessive Writer

Forever

When asked the secret to a good relationship, the elderly couple replied,

“Back then, date nights were at the park”

Love is strong where the WIFI is weak.

© Abirami