Writing is the most positive thing in my life. It has put me over the moon on good days and helped me pull myself out of the dumps on bad ones. I find myself alone, often. I am not literally alone but I am lonely almost all the time.
So I thought I should make the time to write a little for you guys every day. Maybe about my day or about whatever it is that’s on my mind that I think you’ll find interesting. I will start posting regularly from tomorrow (17th May, 2018). I really hope you guys check in every day and I really hope that I don’t bore you to death with my rambling. 😀
– The Obsessive Writer
P.S. I am still interested in doing the custom poetry thing. Please email me if you’re interested.
It is the first and foremost thing we judge everything around us by. If you met someone by a name that was long enough to be it’s own sentence, wouldn’t that catch your attention? I am Abirami Vellingiri Thirunavukkarasu. There. Say it without taking a breath in between. I dare you. Doesn’t knowing my full name change anything? Doesn’t it somehow change the way you look at me?
Abirami is a Hindu Goddess. My father being the religious man he is, obviously named me after a deity. My name speaks of my background, my roots. So you are indeed right to judge me by my name.
I still remember the days I spent, tormenting myself over what I would name my new puppy. After weeks of lists and agonising over various spellings, I landed on Dobby. I’ve always loved Dobby from Harry Potter and I decided I wanted my own little Dobby. But, as soon as I met my little pupper I knew that the name wasn’t right. He wasn’t that sweet, sad little elf. He was a happy, energetic, feisty little furball. And so he became Leo. I know that it’s a generic name for a labrador. But whenever I hear the name, my heart immediately feels fuller, I can feel the joy spread through my very bones. Names sometimes acquire meanings because of what they represent.
There’s a lot in a name.
I started this blog as a teenage misfit. Teenblogzz seemed like an appropriate name at the time. Over time, I have grown out of it. Since a name means so much I decided that it was time I made a change. That is why, now, at the top of your browser it says “obsessivewriting.wordpress.com” instead of “teenblogzz.wordpress.com”.
Its a weird choice of word, “Obsessive”. Weird just like me. That is how I truly look at writing. It’s something I have to do. Maybe it’s for self satisfaction, or maybe it’s my only outlet. Whatever the reason, it’s always been my obsession.
So what’s the story behind your blog?
– The Obsessive Writer.
I’ve been thinking a lot and writing very little. So many trains of thought yet, nothing passed the screening test. They were too real and there is nothing quite as unimpressive as real life. No one wants to read that shit, I told myself. So I went on stringing together, pretty strains of meaningless words. I threw in a few rhymes into the mix and stirred until I got some perfectionist poetry. I looked at my creation, the captivating beauty that it was. All the praises soothed my greedy heart. But it didn’t last very long.
It’s like the conscious mind has a reset button. Every night, all your values are wiped clean and the next day you wake up a new person. Ashamed of my shallow past, the voices in my head wept. What about all your hopes and fears? What about all those nights you spent dreaming? I found them buried, in a lonely corner. A solemn grave for everything I stood for.
The worst kind of death is when you stop living for yourself.