Day 4# – Acceptance

The only thing that’s worse than depression is when the people you love, don’t understand what you’re going through. Having to prove that your pain matters can considerably make things worse. Ridiculing mental health issues is today’s equivalent of killing a baby. I understand that. Most people don’t understand the intensity of problems with mental health and they say insensitive things like ‘just get over it’ or ‘stop being dramatic’.

The thing is if we could just get over it, we wouldn’t be here in this mess in the first place crying ourselves to sleep every night. It’s a lot more complicated than that. What’s worse than these people who don’t understand are those who exaggerate small discomforts into something huge. I have seen people who compare mood swings to being bipolar. That’s not just misinformed, it’s plain disrespectful.

When you see someone suffering, try to understand it instead of judging its intensity. What is a paper cut to you, could be a stab in the heart to someone else. Everyone’s made differently and we need to accept that. And if you are suffering, give yourself some room. You need not jump back from it immediately. Nothing’s wrong with you. With time everything will get better.

I have bad days and good days. Little things bring me down and I’m often dependent on the people I love. But the rest of the time I can be strong enough to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. One bad day does not make me weak and one amazing day does not make me indestructible. I’m simply human and I seem to have accepted the way I am even though it sucks to be me sometimes. When I struggle I don’t just look at the bright side. That’s delusional. Convincing myself that everything will be okay, when it clearly is not is just dumb. I choose to process it and move on. I’d rather take the time to recover from the ugly truth than sell myself some pretty lies.

– The Obsessive Writer

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Day 3# – Failure

I can’t believe I missed a day. It’s just been two days and I missed one. If you’ve been paying attention you might have noticed too and I’m very sorry. I guess it’s really easy to believe that no one really cares about what you have to say and to ignore the deadlines you make for yourself. I was having a hard day and I decided that everything can go to hell. I wonder if you have days like that too? If you do, please don’t do what I did. It’s important to push even harder to do the thing that’s hard to do.

Life is all about perception or so I’ve always believed. The whole Laurel or Yanny thing kept me up all night. If you’re not familiar with it chances are that you’re a healthy individual who doesn’t need social media to thrive. But here you go anyway. I’d like to keep my readers informed. Please watch this video and tell me what you hear.

I guess the actual thing is that you can hear both. Yanny it a high note and Laurel is a low note. It becomes obvious after you’ve heard it a few times. But when you’re hearing it for the first few times it can be mind blowing that you hear only one thing while someone else hears another. And there’s that dress. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. An over exposed image of a black and blue dress appeared to be white and gold and people were torn on which was true was well. These kind of things make me wonder if the universe is even a reality of if it’s just something we perceive and imagine. I don’t know. How can mushrooms taste so good to someone and so bad to me? We’re eating the same thing right?

If a single audio clip can sound so different to everyone and we can live with that, why can’t we do the same for bigger issues in life? One person might believe in certain principles in life while another simply doesn’t care for them. What do we do in situations like that? We judge. We judge without realising the horrible power our criticism has.

I’m sort of a people pleaser so I’ve not been at the bad end of being judged that often. But I have watched people getting judged brutally for silly things. Girls get judged for the number of guys they date and the kind of clothes they wear. So what if you’ve only dated one guy but she’s dated three? So what if you chose to remain a virgin and she did not? I hate conflict so I don’t call out people as much as I should for judging others. Silently watching them do this is not something I’m proud of. Maybe everyone just needs to mind their business.

Speaking of minding my own business, I can’t live with this whole people pleasing aspect of myself. I don’t just dislike conflict, I get panic attacks when someone even argues with me. I can feel my body shutting off when I’ve gotten on someone’s bad side. And when it comes to the people I love, I always seem to need reassurance and attention to prove they still love me. It’s hard. And it needs to stop. That’s the reason behind my “bad day” yesterday, in case you were wondering. If I figure out how to stop that, I’ll let you know. The sad truth is that it might be never.

– The Obsessive Writer

Day 1# – Regret, Realisation And Revival

My days lately have had some weird beginnings and ends. I wake up in the middle of the afternoon and I go to sleep at 4 A.M. in the morning. What’s worse than having nothing to do? Having people point out that you have nothing to do. Lazy days are great after a hectic weak. But they can make you feel like a bit of a failure when every day is the same. It’s a paradox. I hate doing nothing but it’s what my body and mind seem to need. It’s like I’m grieving something but I don’t know what it is.

On the worst of days we all have a way out. It’s always something or someone. A sliver of hope that we can hold on to. We often tend to take that way out for granted. I used to rely on people that way. People I hardly spoke to, I would make them carry the weight of my world on days I couldn’t handle it. When they stuck around it didn’t matter much. But now that I seem to have no one I can see the error of my ways.

I have made my peace with loneliness. I even enjoy it sometimes. It’s so ironic. I can never seem to shut up when people are around. But I only talk about irrelevant things. I’ve always secretly been an introvert. I’ve been so good at keeping that a secret that most people think I’m a cheerful outgoing person.

Apart from this incessant ranting, the point of this post is that, I want you to understand that no matter who you are or what you are, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it if you get gloomy at times. Forcing yourself out of the dumps is not really necessary just because everyone says you have to. Take your own time. Everyone goes about life in their own ways and we have to be respectful of that.

And if you are ready to pull yourself together, a great way to do that is to find out what you’re thankful for. Straight up make a list. Counting your blessings is bound to put a smile on your face. Even a glass of water that someone else may not be able to afford is a blessing in disguise.

– The Obsessive Writer.