Note To Self

There is a little bit of impending sadness in every bit of happiness you feel. It’s an ominous thought, I know. Today, you’re smiling. You’re laughing. You’re on top of the world, holding hands with the ones you love. You feel like nothing can bring you down. Oh, but it will. It will crash and burn. It’s the circle of life.

How can you ever know if you’ve truly loved, unless you loved it enough to let it break you? It can be so scary to feel happy again. Every high will feel like it’s only the path to another low. What if instead of focusing on the pain, you thought of the good times instead? Maybe it’ll hurt more. Memories have a way of stinging you when you least expect it. Or maybe, you’ll see it was all worth it. When you realize that, that day in the sun was well worth this darkness, you’ll teach yourself to feel happy again.

I think it takes some courage to be this ignorant. To dance with the devil knowing full well, he’s about to stab you in the heart and steal your soul. I’ve seen the highs and lows to the extent a twenty something year old can experience. They say teenage is the worst part, but I think the real shit is yet to come. As bad as it can be, it can be great too. I’m ready to hit reset and refresh as many times as it takes. Falling is scary, oh but what if I fly?

– The Obsessive Writer

Advertisements

Day 1# – Regret, Realisation And Revival

My days lately have had some weird beginnings and ends. I wake up in the middle of the afternoon and I go to sleep at 4 A.M. in the morning. What’s worse than having nothing to do? Having people point out that you have nothing to do. Lazy days are great after a hectic weak. But they can make you feel like a bit of a failure when every day is the same. It’s a paradox. I hate doing nothing but it’s what my body and mind seem to need. It’s like I’m grieving something but I don’t know what it is.

On the worst of days we all have a way out. It’s always something or someone. A sliver of hope that we can hold on to. We often tend to take that way out for granted. I used to rely on people that way. People I hardly spoke to, I would make them carry the weight of my world on days I couldn’t handle it. When they stuck around it didn’t matter much. But now that I seem to have no one I can see the error of my ways.

I have made my peace with loneliness. I even enjoy it sometimes. It’s so ironic. I can never seem to shut up when people are around. But I only talk about irrelevant things. I’ve always secretly been an introvert. I’ve been so good at keeping that a secret that most people think I’m a cheerful outgoing person.

Apart from this incessant ranting, the point of this post is that, I want you to understand that no matter who you are or what you are, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it if you get gloomy at times. Forcing yourself out of the dumps is not really necessary just because everyone says you have to. Take your own time. Everyone goes about life in their own ways and we have to be respectful of that.

And if you are ready to pull yourself together, a great way to do that is to find out what you’re thankful for. Straight up make a list. Counting your blessings is bound to put a smile on your face. Even a glass of water that someone else may not be able to afford is a blessing in disguise.

– The Obsessive Writer.

Time to go big on the Thank Yous.

Well, I’ve been going about this whole throwback week thing for a while now and getting all my old poems read. I, for one, think the Internet has seen enough of the kid I used to be. Anyone who has missed this older version of me, fear not for I am back and here to stay. πŸ˜€

Man! I am in a really good mood right now. Must be all the new music I decided to download. It’s funny how my whole perspective on life changes when I have the company of good music. All it took was a bunch of good grades to get me grinning ear to ear today. I have to admit, I like this. Oh, I really do. This happiness is one welcome guest after all the melancholy for absolutely nothing. It is infact these few happy moments that make all the hard work I’ve been putting in at school, worthwhile.

People. There are a lot of them lately. I’ve been connecting with some amazing people with kick-ass blogs and in school too. Well, yes, I admit, at school I was always that popular kid. But now, things are different. Better even! They’re more friends than a possy. I guess I’ve understood how to make friends rather than just getting people to like me. (if you know what I mean) and the fellow bloggers, man I am extremely greatful to be given this platform. You’ve all become a huge part of my life now. It’s been around 8 months since I started out here and I actively blogged for 4. This period of time has been life changing. I’ve grown as a person and who do I owe it all to? The people.

I talk about how epic life is but I failed to notice how the people in mine are responsible for all the epicness of it. My not-so-ordinary family, and my what-you’d-call-geeky friends are the best this world has to offer. At plain sight what seems ordinary will certainly surprise you when you look close enough. I’ve seen greater wisdom in my teachers than renowned scholars. My fellow bloggers have taught me more than any religion ever could. So, a big thank you is in order. (I’ll get to it soon enough, just a little more rambling! :D)

I’m sure you have some interesting people in your lives too. Never fail to appreciate them because, well, they kind of ARE your lives. Never fail to see the magic in their eyes. There’s more to everything than what meets the eye. Show some respect because everyone’s fighting a battle you don’t know of. Just be nice. It’s not so hard. (Even with the stupid people. Hey! They’re giving you a good laugh! Be grateful. :P)

Now to the thanking,

THANK YOU all for being the way you are and being a part of my life which you have indeed made what I would call legend -wait-for-it- dary. Thank you for everything you’ve taught and shown me, helping me become who I am and sometimes just being there at the right times.

Have a good day my people! πŸ™‚

Happiness is a choice.

What makes you happy?

To me, that’s a simple question with several answers.

A cold breeze, nice weather, Zindagi Na milengi dobara ( a Hindi movie), vacation, kids, perfect songs in a row on shuffle, a fun holiday, any holiday, hanging with my people at school, a free period, a cute boy in the vicinity, being able to make someone else happy, a friend’s success, a nap on mom’s lap, fighting with a brother, spending time with my best friend, inside jokes, a new TBBT episode, watching Damon Salvatore on screen, a new Marvel movie, shopping, a good hair day, an A+ on a test, the lunch bell, a software update for my phone, poetry mood… and this goes on and on!

When a tiny little bump in the road is capable of bringing you down on a good day, then I think you should also allow the faintest glimmer light up your life in times of devastating darkness. It is only fair that you give happiness a chance too. There’s this thing my friend once said,

Life has many ways to bring you down, but remember the three things that will keep you strong: breakfast, lunch and dinner!Β πŸ˜€

Being a simple person does have its perks, doesn’t it? The world is a beautiful place when even the little things are capable of giving you happiness. This essentially is what I love about myself. I’m a happy person. My life is difficult just like the rest of you, sometimes even more difficult than you’d know, but I know how to keep myself going with a smile plastered on my face. The human mind is a fickle, fickle entity like I always say! Learning how to take advantage of our elusive state of mind might as well be your greatest talent. Fool that innocent heart of yours, distract it, even the hardest times in life will be easier to deal with. It’s ironic when I realize that these distractions from life become a huge part of life itself.

Running from our troubles don’t make them go away but drowning in them doesn’t make it easier either. Dealing with our problems and obsessing over the bad things that have happened are two different things. Take in the good things that happen to you no matter what is going on in the background. The little things in life are always the perfect relief to the bigger flaws and besides, missing out on your happiness just because you have a reason to be sad seems kind of idiotic. Forget all of life’s misery and take a deep breath for a second, look around. Even in the gutter, there shines a ray of light.

When you are down, take a walk, a long one perhaps. If your neighbour’s annoying dog wants to play fetch, give it a go! Laugh! when the silly kid next doors desperate attempts on stand up comedy. If the skies decide to rain on you, then let it drench you and wash your troubles away. Give the world a chance!

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the lightΒ 

– Albus Dumbledore.

So all I’m trying to say is, quit fumbling in the dark and turn on the lights people! πŸ™‚