THE ONE WITH THE STEREOTYPES

Some people throw around the term “feminist” like its an accusation.

“You can’t make a big deal about everything that happens to you just ’cause you’re a woman.”

“You can’t relate everything a man says to sexism.”

“Women are too dramatic!”

Any of these sound familiar?

I used to feel really passionate about these things but now I’ve just sort of given up. It’s become the norm. Women get instantly judged for the way they look and men get judged for the amount of money they make and how successful they are. I’ve always hated that. I would have given anything to be judged for my success instead of my looks! But now it feels like being judged at all, no matter what its for, is equally awful.

Life is hard no matter what your gender is. People are harsh on you no matter who you are. In fact, the better you are doing in life, the more hate you are bound to get. Hate has become such a common word. It’s not something we should be throwing around so lightly. In a world that is dominated by social media, with people who are all about self-promotion it’s become really easy to use our voice as weapons. But, with great power comes great responsibility, right?

I was just scrolling through the comments of a post by a female celebrity on social media.  Lots of people say positive things. It’s wonderful to see no matter what it is they support. And then there are those who cast stones with their words. There were some brutal comments on how she looked. I get that the whole profession and fame of these celebrities exist because of their fans and that the public has the right to voice their opinions. But what’s the point of saying such hateful things? What do you hope to achieve with that? Do you become more beautiful by calling her ugly? I hardly think so.

If you think this post is about me asking the world to change, you’re wrong. I only have one piece of advice for you. Not everyone is going to like who you are and you just have to live with that. Real happiness is realising that the only approval you need is from yourself. Whoever you are. Man or woman. Be one with the stereotypes. Wear your weakness like armour and no one can hurt you.

– The Obsessive Writer

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– The Obsessive Writer

Do you HAVE to be nice?

I know what you’re thinking. I must be an ignorant jerk to actually ask that! But I wonder sometimes because not everyone is nice. You need to eat food to survive, and so people eat. I don’t see anyone being nice because that’s another basic requirement.

On days like today, I think it should be classified as something very important. If people faced real consequences for their horrendous actions they might stop. The world could be a nice place and there might be good more than there is bad. But even the nicest person can be mean sometimes. There have been times when I’ve been in a foul mood and taken it out on innocent bystanders.

Everybody’s fighting their own battles. However hard your problems may seem right now, everybody else has hardships too. If maybe, just maybe we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes we might be able to understand the effect our words and actions can have.

Do we have to be nice? I think you can’t always keep up with that. No one is that good at controlling their emotions. But being mean on accident, because you are falling apart is different from being mean just cause you can.

People with big roles that have an impact on others’ lives just have to learn. They have to learn to be nice. Consider teachers, they shape people’s lives. If they act like bullies then who teaches kids not to bully in the first place? I have had some discouraging teachers in the past. It just gets worse as you grow older and get into college. It’s like when you grow up, they don’t have to care as much about wrecking your dreams.

I have a teacher, she’s pretty young. She’s only a few years older than me and my friends and she constantly bullies all the kids who aren’t scared of her. You know the type? The kind that’s insecure about their authority and does mean things to validate themselves. Some days it just gets to me. How she has smiles for the kids she likes and hurtful things to say to the others. I had this moment today where I just wanted to quit school and not come back. But then as time passed I decided that one person cannot be the end of me. I can take more than that.

So for those of you, with such important roles in life, please be nice. You were given that role to do good. And for those of you like me who have had bad days, cheer up. One persons opinion is not the end of the world. Let all kinds of criticism be constructive to you! That’s how you pay them back.

Happy blogging 🙂

– The Obsessive Writer

A Search for the Right Way

Is there such a thing?

I’ve always been taught by life and it’s experiences that nothing is ever black or white. Our moral compass if often dunked in shades of grey and we’re left stranded with no sense of direction. I did not think there was a rule book. But lately, it feels like there are indeed some strong indicators that guide us unintentionally.

Whenever I am faced with a difficult choice, there are often two options. One that feels like it might suck immensely, and an easier one. I hate confrontation, or any sorts of negativity so I’ve always ended up picking the easier thing to do. Like not leaving my hometown for college, not ending a bad friendship, just not taking risks.

Maybe the right way doesn’t feel so right? Maybe its when you’ve got that pit in your stomach you’re doing what you’re supposed to. I have reached this point in my life where I feel like nothing can go wrong. Every high or low is just the path I was meant to take to my rightful destination. The only way I’m going to end up where I am supposed to is by doing things the right way no matter the consequences and irrespective of how hard they are.

Seeing as I’ve only got this one life, I might as well get it right.

– The Obsessive Writer

Love Yourself

So many people rant about self-love, and I don’t know about you, but I often wonder things like, “They’re just saying that because they have someone” you know? I’m skeptical to people who have millions of loving people in their lives who talk about self-love being the only love that “matters”. And then there are those perfect, flat stomached, curvy girls who say looks don’t matter so don’t hate your body. Love it for what it is.

We all are in this journey in life to find someone to complete us. Some of think we already found them, some of us never stop looking and some of us hate our lives because we don’t have that someone. What is this someone for, you ask? It is to help bury all those insecurities. Am I pretty enough? Am I skinny enough? Am I funny enough? Am I lovable? Am I fun to be around? We want someone who’s going to answer all those questions in a positive way for the rest of our lives to feed our growing insecurities.

What if you’ve already got that person and you’ve no idea? What if I told you I know who completes you?

It’s you.

Yes, I’m starting to sound like those people who talk about self-love too, aren’t I? Well times have changed and I’ve had some growing up to do. It’s not just one or two but almost everyone who loves themselves seems to have a lot of people who love them. Everyone who feels confident about how they look is often perceived as beautiful and gorgeous. Are you seeing the common denominator here?

Be that person who sits on the bed with yourself and hold your own hand and stop those tears. Learn to cheer yourself up. You were born as a whole and you don’t need someone to complete you. Once you’ve reached that stage where you love yourself whether you lose that 10 kilos or not, those petty things won’t matter. And when you’re around people you’ll start thinking about how they make you feel rather than panicking about whether they like you or not. That’s the day you’ll find love, and friends and people who accept you for who you are. And that’s the day you’ll feel beautiful inside out.

– The Obsessive Writer

Anger Management

I don’t understand how a certain group of people are categorised as impulsive. How are only some people that way? Is it not human to feel an impulse? If it were up to me there would only be two categories. People who are alive, and those who are dead.

But I’ve been told recently that I couldn’t always say or do what I liked. And that being “impulsive” is not the right way to deal with things. That right course of action is apparently to carefully think about it and agonise over it until you’re too numb to want to do something about how you’re feeling.

Like if you’re at work and a co-worker undermines you, or you’re at school and someone takes credit for your work or belittles you. Would you just walk away? That is the society we live in. There’s so much importance to conforming to social norms and “decency”, that the line between right and wrong is so blurry these days.

If you’re able to bottle up your feelings when someone stabs you in the back, or outright insults you, then good for you. I cannot live a lie like that. And I won’t. To hell with your opinions. I will remain impulsive for as long as I have a pulse.

– The Obsessive Writer

Inside Out

I write away my sorrow

It is the only way I know.

Spilling ink thicker than blood.

Leaving behind words in place of scars.

They said, Be the change and the world will follow.

I pretend to be reborn.

I tell myself that I am the change.

And the world did follow,

On Instagram to mock at my expense.

Some people see a few familiar faces and call it home.

What if I need to look at hearts and not faces?

When I look through those chunks of rock

Will I still be able to tell them apart?

This mind of mine colourfully black and white,

Scatters them into piles of two

They all judge me for my depth

Some look at my pockets and some my poetry.

© Abirami